CHAPTER VII.

DESCRIBES THE GRIEF FELT ON ACCOUNT OF THEIR SINS BY SOULS ON WHOM GOD HAS

BESTOWED THE BEFORE-MENTIONED FAVOURS. SHOWS THAT HOWEVER SPIRITUAL A PERSON

MAY BE, IT IS A GREAT ERROR NOT TO KEEP BEFORE OUR MIND THE HUMANITY OF OUR

LORD AND SAVIOUR JESUS CHRIST AND HIS SACRED PASSION AND LIFE, AS ALSO THE

GLORIOUS MOTHER OF GOD AND THE SAINTS. THE BENEFITS GAINED BY SUCH A

MEDITATION. THIS CHAPTER IS MOST PROFITABLE.

1. Sorrow for sin felt by souls in the Sixth Mansion. 2. How this sorrow is

felt. 3. St. Teresa's grief for her past sins. 4. Such souls, centred in

God, forget self-interest. 5. The remembrance of divine benefits increases

contrition. 6. Meditation on our Lord's Humanity. 7. Warning against

discontinuing it. 8. Christ and the saints our models. 9. Meditation of

contemplatives. 10. Meditation during aridity. 11. We must search for God

when we do not feel His presence. 12. Reasoning and mental prayer. 13. A

form of meditation on our Lord's Life and Passion. 14. Simplicity of

contemplatives' meditation. 15. Souls in every state of prayer should think

of the Passion. 16. Need of the example of Christ and the saints. 17. Faith

shows us our Lord as both God and Man. 18. St. Teresa's experience of

meditation on the sacred Humanity. 19. Evil of giving up such meditation.

1. IT may seem to you, sisters, that souls to whom God has communicated

Himself in such a special manner may feel so sure of enjoying Him for ever

as no longer to require to fear or to mourn over their past sins. Those of

you will be most apt to hold this opinion who have never received the like

favours; souls to whom God has granted these graces will understand what I

say. This is a great mistake, for sorrow for sin increases in proportion to

the divine grace received and I believe will never quit us until we come to

the land where nothing can grieve us any more. Doubtless we feel this pain

more at one time than at another and it is of a different kind. A soul so

advanced as that we speak of does not think of the punishment threatening

its offences but of its great ingratitude towards Him to Whom it owes so

much [329] and Who so justly deserves that it should serve Him, for the

sublime mysteries revealed have taught it much about the greatness of God.

2. This soul wonders at its former temerity and weeps over its irreverence;

its foolishness in the past seems a madness which it never ceases to lament

as it remembers for what vile things it forsook so great a Sovereign. The

thoughts dwell on this more than on the favours received, which, like those

I am about to describe, are so powerful that they seem to rush through the

soul at times like a strong, swift river. Yet the sins remain like the mire

in the river bed and dwell constantly in the memory, making a heavy cross to

bear.

3. I know some one who, though she had ceased to wish for death in order to

see God, [330] yet desired it that she might be freed from her continual

regret for her past ingratitude towards Him to Whom she owed, and always

would owe, so much. She thought no one's guilt could be compared to her own,

for she felt there could be none with whom God had borne so patiently nor on

whom He had bestowed such graces.

4. Souls that have reached the state I speak of have ceased to fear hell. At

times, though very rarely, they grieve keenly over the possibility of their

losing God; their sole dread is lest He should withdraw His hand, allowing

them to offend Him, and so they might return to their former miserable

condition. They care nothing for their own pain or glory; if they are

anxious not to stay long in Purgatory, it is more on account of its keeping

them from the Presence of God than because of its torments. Whatever favours

God may have shown a soul, I think it is dangerous for it to forget the

unhappy state it was once in; painful as the remembrance may be, it is most

beneficial.

5. Perhaps I think so because I have been so wicked and that may be the

reason why I never forget my sins; people who have led good lives have no

cause for grief; yet we always fall at times whilst living in this mortal

body. This pain is not lessened by reflecting that our Lord has already

forgiven and forgotten our faults; our grief is rather increased at seeing

such kindness and favours bestowed on one who deserves nothing but hell. I

think St. Paul and the Magdalen must thus have suffered a cruel martyrdom;

[331] their love was intense, they had received many mercies and realized

the greatness and the majesty of God and so must have found it very hard to

bear the remembrance of their sins, which they must have regretted with a

most tender sorrow.

6. You may fancy that one who has enjoyed such high favours need not

meditate on the mysteries of the most sacred Humanity of our Lord Jesus

Christ but will be wholly absorbed in love. I have written fully about this

elsewhere. [332] I have been contradicted and told that I was wrong and

did not understand the matter; that our Lord guides souls in such a way that

after having made progress it is best to exercise oneself in matters

concerning the Godhead and to avoid what is corporeal; yet nothing will make

me admit that this latter is a good way.

7. I may be mistaken; we may all really mean the same thing but I found the

devil was trying to lead me astray in this manner. Having been warned by

experience in this respell, I have decided to speak again about it here

although I have very often done so elsewhere. [333] Be most cautious on

the subject; attend to what I venture to say about it and do not believe any

one who tells you the contrary. I will endeavour to explain myself more

clearly than I did before. If the person who undertook to write on the

matter had treated it more explicitly he would have done well, for it may do

much harm to speak of it in general terms to us women, who have scanty wits.

8. Some souls imagine they cannot meditate even on the Passion, still less

on the most blessed Virgin or on the saints, the memory of whose lives

greatly benefits and strengthens us. [334] I cannot think what such

persons are to meditate upon, for to withdraw the thoughts from all

corporeal things like the angelic spirits who are always inflamed with love,

is not possible for us while in this mortal flesh; we need to study, to

meditate upon and to imitate those who, mortals like ourselves, performed

such heroic deeds for God. How much less should we wilfully endeavour to

abstain from thinking of our only good and remedy, the most sacred Humanity

of our Lord Jesus Christ? I cannot believe that any one really does this;

they misunderstand their own minds and so harm both themselves and others.

Of this at least I can assure them: they will never thus enter the last two

mansions of the castle. If they lose their Guide, our good Jesus, they

cannot find the way and it will be much if they have stayed safely in the

former mansions. Our Lord Himself tells us that He is 'the Way'; He also

says that He is 'the Light'; that no man cometh to the Father but by Him;

and that 'He that seeth Me, seeth the Father also.' [335]

9. Such persons tell us that these words have some other meaning; I know of

no other meaning but this, which my soul has ever recognized as the true one

and which has always suited me right well. Some people (many of whom have

spoken to me on the subject) after our Lord has once raised them to perfect

contemplation, wish to enjoy it continually. This is impossible; still, the

grace of this state remains in their souls in such a way that they cannot

reason as before on the mysteries of the Passion and the Life of Christ. I

cannot account for it but it is very usual for the mind thus to remain less

apt for meditation. I think it must be because, as the one end of meditation

is to seek God, after He has once been found and the soul is accustomed to

seek Him again by means of the will, it no longer wearies itself by

searching for Him with the intellect.

10. It also appears to me that as the will is already inflamed with love,

this generous faculty would, if it could, cease to make use of the reason.

This would be well, were it not impossible, especially before the soul has

reached the last two mansions. [336] Time spent in prayer would thus be

lost as the will often needs the use of the understanding to rekindle its

love. Notice this point, sisters, which as it is important I will explain

more fully. Such a soul desires to spend all its time in loving God and

wishes to do nothing else; but it cannot succeed, for though the will is not

dead yet the flame which kindled it is dying out and the spark needs fanning

into a glow. Ought the soul to remain quiescent in this aridity, waiting

like our father Elias for fire to descend from heaven [337] to consume the

sacrifice which it makes of itself to God? Certainly not; it is not right to

expect miracles; God will work them for this soul when He chooses. As I have

told you already and shall do again, His Majesty wishes us to hold ourselves

unworthy of their being wrought on our account and desires us to help

ourselves to the best of our abilities.

11. In my opinion we ought during our whole life, to act in this manner,

however sublime our prayer may be. True, those whom our Lord admits into the

seventh mansion rarely or never need thus to help their fervour, for the

reason I will tell you of; if I recollect it when I come to write of this

room where, in a wonderful manner, souls are constantly in the company of

Christ our Lord both in His Humanity and His Divinity. [338] Thus, when

the fire in our hearts, of which I spoke does not burn in the will, nor do

we feel the presence of God, we must search for Him as He would have us do,

like the Bride in the Canticles, [339] and must ask all creatures 'who it

was that made them;' as St. Augustine (either in his Soliloquies or his

Confessions) tells us that he did. [340] Thus we shall not stand like

blockheads, wasting our time in waiting for what we before enjoyed. At

first, it may be that our Lord will not renew His gift again for a year or

even for many years; His Majesty knows the reason which we should not try to

discover since there is no need for us to understand it.

12. As most certainly the way to please God is to keep the commandments and

counsels, let us do so diligently, while meditating on His life and death

and all we owe Him; then let the rest be as God chooses. Some may answer

that their mind refuses to dwell on these subjects; and for the above

causes, this to a certain extent is true. You know that it is one thing to

reason and another thing for the memory to bring certain truths before the

mind. Perhaps you may not understand me; possibly I fail to express myself

rightly but I will do my best. Using the understanding much in this manner

is what I call meditation.

13. Let us begin by considering the mercy God showed us by giving us His

only Son; let us not stop here but go on to reflect upon all the mysteries

of His glorious life; or let us first turn our thoughts to His prayer in the

garden, then allow them to continue the subject until they reach the

crucifixion. Or we may take some part of the Passion such as Christ's

apprehension and dwell on this mystery, considering in detail the points to

be pondered and thought over, such as the treachery of Judas, the flight of

the Apostles, and all that followed. This is an admirable and very

meritorious kind of prayer. [341]

14. Souls led by God in supernatural ways and raised to perfect

contemplation are right in declaring they cannot practise this kind of

meditation. As I said, I know not why, but as a rule they are unable to do

so. Yet they would be wrong in saying that they cannot dwell on these

mysteries nor frequently think about them, especially when these events are

being celebrated by the Catholic Church. Nor is it possible for the soul

which has received so much from God to forget these precious proofs of His

love which are living sparks to inflame the heart with greater love for our

Lord, nor can the mind fail to understand them. Such a soul comprehends

these mysteries, which are brought before the mind and stamped on the memory

in a more perfect way than with other people, so that the mere sight of our

Lord prostrate in the garden, covered with His terrible sweat, suffices to

engross the thoughts not merely for an hour but for several days. The soul

looks with a simple gaze upon Who He is and how ungratefully we treat Him in

return for such terrible sufferings. Then the will, although perhaps without

sensible tenderness, desires to render Him some service for such sublime

mercies and longs to suffer something for Him Who bore so much for us,

employing itself in similar considerations in which the memory and

understanding also take their part.

15. I think this is why such souls cannot reason connectedly about the

Passion and fancy they are unable to mediate on it. Those who do not

meditate on this subject had better begin to do so; for I know that it will

not impede the most sublime prayer nor is it well to omit praising this

often. If God then sees fit to enrapture them, well and good; even if they

are reluctant, He will make them cease to meditate. I am certain that this

way of king is most helpful to the soul and not the hindrance it would

become were great efforts made to use the intellect. This, as I said, I

believe cannot be done when a higher state of prayer is attained. It may be

otherwise in some cases, for God leads souls in many different ways. Let not

those be blamed, however, who are unable to discourse much in prayer, nor

should they be judged incapable of enjoying the great graces contained in

the mysteries of Jesus Christ, our only Good, which no one, however

spiritual he may be, can persuade me it is well to omit contemplating. 16.

There are souls who, having made a beginning, or advanced half-way, when

they begin to experience the prayer of quiet and to taste the sweetness and

consolations God gives, think it is a great thing to enjoy these spiritual

pleasures continually. Let them, as I advised elsewhere, cease to give

themselves up so much to this absorption. Life is long and full of crosses

and we have need to look on Christ our pattern, to see how He bore His

trials, and even to take example by His Apostles and saints if we would bear

our own trials perfectly. Our good Jesus and His most blessed Mother are too

good company to be left and He is well pleased if we grieve at His pains,

even though sometimes at the cost of our own consolations and joys. [342]

Besides, daughters, consolations are not so frequent in prayer that we have

no time for this as well. If any one should tell me she continually enjoys

them, and that she is one of those who can never meditate on the divine

mysteries, I should feel very doubtful about her state. Be convinced of

this; keep free from this deception and to the utmost of your power stop

yourselves from being constantly immersed in this intoxication. If you

cannot do so, tell the Prioress so that she may employ you too busily for

you to think of the matter; thus you will be free from this danger which, if

it does no more, when it lasts long, greatly injures the health and brain. I

have said enough to prove to those who require it that, however spiritual

their state, it is an error so to avoid thinking of corporeal things as to

imagine that meditation on the most sacred Humanity can injure the soul.

17. People allege, in defence, that our Lord told His disciples that it was

expedient for them that He should go from them. [343] This I cannot admit.

He did not say so to His blessed Mother, for her faith was firm. She knew He

was both God and man; and although she loved Him more dearly than did His

disciples, it was in so perfect a way that His bodily presence was a help to

her. The faith of the Apostles must have been weaker than it was later on,

and than ours has reason to be. I assure you, daughters, that I consider

this a most dangerous idea whereby the devil might end by robbing us of our

devotion to the most blessed Sacrament.

18. The mistake I formerly made [344] did not lead me as far as this, but

I did not care so much about meditating on our Lord Jesus Christ, preferring

to remain absorbed, awaiting spiritual consolations. I recognized clearly

that I was going wrong, for as I could not always keep in this state, my

thoughts wandered hither and thither and my soul seemed like a bird, ever

flying about and finding no place for rest. Thus I lost much time and did

not advance in virtue nor make progress in prayer.

19. I did not understand the reason, and as I believed that I was acting

wisely I think I should never have learnt it but for the advice of a servant

of God whom I consulted about my mode of prayer. Then I perceived plainly

how mistaken I had been and I have never ceased regretting that there was a

time when I did not realize how difficult it would be to gain by so great a

loss. Even if I could, I would seek for nothing save by Him through Whom

comes all the good we possess. May He be for ever praised! Amen.

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[329] Life, ch. vi. 7.

[330] Excl. vi. 4, 5. Supra, M. v. ch. ii, 5. Poems 2, 3, 4. Minor Works.

[331] Life, ch. xxi, 9. All editions have 'Peter'. St. Teresa only wrote

'Po' but the parallel passage proves she meant Pablo, and not Pedro. See

also M. i. ch. i. 5.

[332] Life, ch. xxii. 9-11.

[333] Ibid. ch. xxii. i; xxiii. 18; xxiv. 2.

[334] 'Deliberate forgetfulness and rejection of all knowledge and of form

must never be extended to Christ and His sacred Humanity. Sometimes, indeed,

in the height of contemplation and pure intuition of the Divinity the soul

does not remember the Sacred Humanity, because God raises the mind to this,

as it were, confused and most supernatural knowledge; but for all this,

studiously to forget it is by no means right, for the contemplation of the

sacred Humanity and loving meditation upon it will help us up to all good,

and it is by it we shall ascend most easily to the highest state of union.

It is evident at once that, while all visible and bodily things ought to be

forgotten, for they are a hindrance in our way, He, Who for our salvation

became man, is not to be accounted among them, for He is the truth, the

door, and the way, and our guide to all good.' (St. John of the Cross Ascent

of Mount Carmel, bk. iii. ch. i. 12-14.

[335] St. John viii. 12; xiv. 6, 9.

[336] Life, ch. xv. 20. St. John of the Cross treats the subject most

carefully. He shows how and when meditation becomes impossible: Ascent of

Mount Carmel, bk. ii. ch. xii. (circa finem) ch. xiii. (per totum). Living

Flame of Love, stanza iii. 35. Obscure Night, bk. i. ch. x. 8, and bk. ii.

ch. viii. That it should be procured whenever possible: Ibid. bk. i. ch. x.

(in fine); that it should be resumed; Ascent of Mount Carmel; bk. ii, ch.

xv.

[337] III Reg. xviii. 30-39.

[338] Continual sense of the presence of God: Life, ch. xxvii. 6. Rel. xi.

3: 'The intellectual vision of the Three Persons and of the Sacred Humanity

seems ever present.' Castle, M. vii. ch. iv. 15.

[339] Cant, iii. 3; 'Num quem diligit anima mea, vidistis?'

[340] 'I asked the earth, and it answered me: 'I am not He'; and whatsoever

it contains confessed the same. I asked the sea and the depths, and the

living, creeping things, and they answered: 'We are not thy God, seek above

us.' I asked the heavens, I asked the moving air; and the whole air with its

inhabitants answered: 'Anaximenes was deceived, I am not God.' I asked the

heavens, sun, moon, stars. 'Nor,' say they, 'are we the God Whom thou

seekest.' And I replied unto all things which encompass the door of my

flesh: 'Ye have told me of my God, that ye are not He; tell me something of

Him.' And they cried out with a loud voice: 'He made us.' By my thought of

them I questioned them, and their beauty gave their answer.' (St.

Augustine's Confessions, bk. x. ch. 6.) St. Teresa may have read this in St.

Augustine's Confessions, (see above, p. 78), or in the Soliloquies, a

collection of extracts from St. Augustine, St. Bernard, St. Anselm, etc.,

which was printed in Latin at Venice in 1512, translated into Spanish and

brought out at Valladolid in 1515, and again at Medina del Campo in 15 53,

and at Toledo in 1565. The words quoted by St. Teresa occur in chapter xxxi.

See Life, ch. xl. 10.

[341] Life, ch. xiii. 17-23.

[342] Way of Perf. ch. xxv. 7.

[343] St. John xvi. 7: 'Expedit vobis ut ego vadam; si enim non abiero,

Paraclitus non veniet ad vos.' Life, ch. xxii. 1, 2 and note.

[344] Life, ch. xxii. 11. Although the Saint defends herself against the

charge of self-contradiction, there can be no doubt from this avowal that

she too was at one time mistaken on this point.

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