CHAPTER I.

HOW SWEETNESS AND TENDERNESS IN PRAYER DIFFER FROM CONSOLATIONS. EXPLAINS

HOW ADVANTAGEOUS IT WAS FOR ST. TERESA TO COMPREHEND THAT THE IMAGINATION

AND THE UNDERSTANDING ARE NOT THE SAME THING. THIS CHAPTER IS USEFUL FOR

THOSE WHOSE THOUGHTS WANDER MUCH DURING PRAYER.

1. Graces received in this mansion. 2. favours. 3. Temptations bring

humility and merit. 4. Sensible devotion and natural joys. 5. Sweetness in

devotion. 6. St. Teresa's experience of it. 7. Love of God, and how to

foster it. 8. Distractions. 9. They do not destroy divine union. 10. St.

Teresa's physical distractions. 11. How to treat distractions. 12. They

should be disregarded. 13. Self-knowledge necessary.

1. Now that I commence writing about the fourth mansions, it is requisite,

as I said, [107] to commend myself to the Holy Ghost and to beg Him

henceforth to speak for me, that I may be enabled to treat these matters

intelligibly. Henceforth they begin to be supernatural and it will be most

difficult to speak clearly about them, [108] unless His Majesty undertakes

it for me, as He did when I explained the subject (as far as I understood

it) somewhat about fourteen years ago. [109] I believe I now possess more

light about the favours God grants some souls, but that is different from

being able to elucidate them. [110] May His Majesty enable me to do so if

it would be useful, but not otherwise.

2. As these mansions are nearer the King's dwelling they are very beautiful,

and so subtle are the things seen and heard in them, that, as those tell us

who have tried to do so, the mind cannot give a lucid idea of them to those

inexperienced in the matter. People who have enjoyed these favours,

especially if it was to any great extent, will easily comprehend me.

3. Apparently a person must have dwelt for a long time in the former

mansions before entering these; although in ordinary cases the soul must

have been in the last one spoken of, yet, as you must often have heard,

there is no fixed rule, for God gives when, how, and to whom He wills [111]

--the goods are His own, and His choice wrongs no one. [112] The poisonous

reptiles rarely come into these rooms, and, if they enter, do more good than

harm. I think it is far better for them to get in and make war on the soul

in this state of prayer; were it not tempted, the devil might sometimes

deceive it about divine consolations, thus injuring it far more. Besides,

the soul would benefit less, because all occasions of gaining merit would be

withdrawn, were it left continually absorbed in God. I am not confident that

this absorption is genuine when it always remains in the same state, nor

does it appear to me possible for the Holy Ghost to dwell constantly within

us, to the same extent, during our earthly exile.

4. I will now describe, as I promised, the difference between sweetness in

prayer and spiritual consolations. It appears to me that what we acquire for

ourselves in meditation and petitions to our Lord may be termed 'sweetness

in devotion.' [113] It is natural, although ultimately aided by the grace

of God. I must be understood to imply this in all I say, for we can do

nothing without Him. This sweetness arises principally from the good work we

perform, and appears to result from our labours: well may we feel happy at

having thus spent our time. We shall find, on consideration, that many

temporal matters give us the same pleasure--such as unexpectedly coming into

a large fortune, suddenly meeting with a dearly-loved friend, or succeeding

in any important or influential affair which makes a sensation in the world.

Again, it would be felt by one who had been told her husband, brother, or

son was dead, and who saw him return to her alive. I have seen people weep

from such happiness, as I have done myself. I consider both these joys and

those we feel in religious matters to be natural ones. Although there is

nothing wrong about the former, yet those produced by devotion spring from a

more noble source--in short, they begin in ourselves and end in God.

Spiritual consolations, on the contrary, arise from God, and our nature

feels them and rejoices as keenly in them, and indeed far more keenly, than

in the others I described.

5. O Jesus! how I wish I could elucidate this point! It seems to me that I

can perfectly distinguish the difference between the two joys, yet I have

not the skill to make myself understood; may God give it me! I remember a

verse we say at Prime at the end of the final Psalm; the last words are:

'Cum dilatasti cor meum'--'When Thou didst dilate my heart: [114] To those

with much experience, this suffices to show the difference between sweetness

in prayer and spiritual consolations; other people will require more

explanation. The sensible devotion I mentioned does not dilate the heart,

but generally appears to narrow it slightly; although joyful at seeing

herself work for God, yet such a person sheds tears of sorrow which seem

partly produced by the passions. I know little about the passions of the

soul, or I could write of them more clearly and could better define what

comes from the sensitive disposition and what is natural, having passed

through this state myself, but I am very stupid. Knowledge and learning are

a great advantage to every one.

6. My own experience of this delight and sweetness in meditation was that

when I began to weep over the Passion I could not stop until I had a severe

headache; [115] the same thing occurred when I grieved over my sins: this

was a great grace from our Lord. I do not intend to inquire now which of

these states of prayer is the better, but I wish I knew how to explain the

difference between the two. In that of which I speak, the tears and good

desires are often partly caused by the natural disposition, but although

this may be the case, yet, as I said, these feelings terminate in God.

Sensible devotion is very desirable if the soul is humble enough to

understand that it is not more holy on account of these sentiments, which

cannot always with certainty be ascribed to charity, and even then are still

the gift of God.

7. These feelings of devotion are most common with souls in the first three

mansions, who are nearly always using their understanding and reason in

making meditations. This is good for them, for they have not been given

grace for more; they should, however, try occasionally to elicit some acts

such as praising God, rejoicing in His goodness and that He is what He is:

let them desire that He may be honoured and glorified. They must do this as

best they can, for it greatly inflames the will. Let them be very careful,

when God gives these sentiments, not to set them aside in order to finish

their accustomed meditation. But, having spoken fully on this subject

elsewhere, [116] I will say no more now. I only wish to warn you that to

make rapid progress and to reach the mansions we wish to enter, it is not so

essential to think much as to love much: therefore you must practise

whatever most excites you to this. Perhaps we do not know what love is, nor

does this greatly surprise me. Love does not consist in great sweetness of

devotion, but in a fervent determination to strive to please God in all

things, in avoiding, as far as possible, all that would offend Him, and in

praying for the increase of the glory and honour of His Son and for the

growth of the Catholic Church. These are the signs of love; do not imagine

that it consists in never thinking of anything but God, and that if your

thoughts wander a little all is lost. [117]

8. I, myself, have sometimes been troubled by this turmoil of thoughts. I

learnt by experience, but little more than four years ago, that our

thoughts, or it is clearer to call it our imagination, are not the same

thing as the understanding. I questioned a theologian on the subject; he

told me it was the fact, which consoled me not a little. As the

understanding is one of the powers of the soul, it puzzled me to see it so

sluggish at times, while, as a rule, the imagination takes flight at once,

so that God alone can control it by so uniting us to Himself [118] that we

seem, in a manner, detached from our bodies. It puzzled me to see that while

to all appearance the powers of the soul were occupied with God and

recollected in Him, the imagination was wandering elsewhere.

9. Do Thou, O Lord, take into account all that we suffer in this way through

our ignorance. We err in thinking that we need only know that we must keep

our thoughts fixed on Thee. We do not understand that we should consult

those better instructed than ourselves, nor are we aware that there is

anything for us to learn. We pass through terrible trials, on account of not

understanding our own nature and take what is not merely harmless, but good,

for a grave fault. This causes the sufferings felt by many people,

particularly by the unlearned, who practise prayer. They complain of

interior trials, become melancholy, lose their health, and even give up

prayer altogether for want of recognizing that we have within ourselves as

it were, an interior world. We cannot stop the revolution of the heavens as

they rush with velocity upon their course, neither can we control our

imagination. When this wanders we at once imagine that all the powers of the

soul follow it; we think everything is lost, and that the time spent in

God's presence is wasted. Meanwhile, the soul is perhaps entirely united to

Him in the innermost mansions, while the imagination is in the precincts of

the castle, struggling with a thousand wild and venomous creatures and

gaining merit by its warfare. Therefore we need not let ourselves be

disturbed, nor give up prayer, as the devil is striving to persuade us. As a

rule, all our anxieties and troubles come from misunderstanding our own

nature.

10. Whilst writing this I am thinking of the loud noise in my head which I

mentioned in the Introduction, and which has made it almost impossible to

obey the command given me to write this. It sounds as if there were a number

of rushing waterfalls within my brain, while in other parts, drowned by the

sound of the waters, are the voices of birds singing and whistling. This

tumult is not in my ears, but in the upper part of my head, where, they say,

is placed the superior part of the soul. I have long thought that this must

be so because the flight of the spirit seems to take place from this part

with great velocity. [119] Please God I may recollect to explain the cause

when writing of the latter mansions, this not being the proper place for it.

It may be that God has sent this suffering in my head to help me to

understand the matter, for all this tumult in my brain does not interfere

with my prayer, nor with my speaking to you, but the great calm and love and

desires in my soul remain undisturbed and my mind is clear.

11. How, then, can the superior part of the soul remain undisturbed if it

resides in the upper part of the brain? I cannot account for it, but am sure

that I am speaking the truth. This noise disturbs my prayer when

unaccompanied with ecstasy, but when it is ecstatic I do not feel any pain,

however great. I should suffer keenly were I forced to cease praying on

account of these infirmities. We should not be distressed by reason of our

thoughts, nor allow ourselves to be worried by them: if they come from the

devil, he will let us alone if we take no notice of them; and if they are,

as often happens, one of the many frailties entailed by Adam's sin, let us

be patient and suffer them for the love of God. Likewise, since we must eat

and sleep without being able to avoid it, much to our grief, let us

acknowledge that we are human, and long to be where no one may despise us.

[120] Sometimes I recall these words, spoken by the Spouse in the

Canticle; [121] truly never in our lives have we better reason to say

them, for I think no earthly scorn or suffering can try us so severely as

these struggles within our souls. All uneasiness or conflict can be borne

while we have peace in ourselves, as I said; but if, while seeking for rest

amidst the thousand trials of the world--knowing that God has prepared this

rest for us--the obstacle is found in ourselves, the trial must needs prove

painful and almost insufferable.

12. Take us therefore, O Lord, to where these miseries can no longer cause

us to be despised, for sometimes it seems as if they mocked our souls. Even

in this life God delivers us from them when we reach the last mansion, as by

His grace I will show you. Everybody is not so violently distressed and

assaulted by these weaknesses as I have been for many years, [122] on

account of my wickedness, so that it seems as if I strove to take vengeance

on myself. [123] Since I suffer so much in this way, perhaps you may do

the same, so I shall continue to explain the subject to you in different

ways, in order to find some means of making it clear. The thing is

inevitable, therefore do not let it disturb or grieve you, but let the mill

clack on while we grind our wheat; that is, let us continue to work with our

will and intellect.

13. These troubles annoy us more or less according to the state of our

health or in different circumstances. The poor soul suffers; although not

now to blame, it has sinned at other times, and must be patient. We are so

ignorant that what we have read and been told has not sufficed to teach us

to disregard wandering thoughts, therefore I shall not be wasting time in

instructing and consoling you about these trials. However, this will help

you but little until God chooses to enlighten you, and additional measures

are needed: His Majesty wishes us to learn by ordinary means to understand

ourselves and to recognize the share taken in these troubles by our

wandering imagination, our nature, and the devil's temptations, instead of

laying all the blame on our souls.

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[107] First Mansions, ch. i. 1.

[108] There are two kinds of contemplation: acquired or natural, and infused

or supernatural. In their widest sense, including many remarkable phenomena

of Natural religion, and, of course, the most wonderful manifestations

recorded in the Old Testament, they form the system called ism and are

the proper object of mystical theology. Natural or acquired contemplation is

based upon an idealistic turn of mind which enables the soul to gaze upon

the Godhead (simple gaze, as St. Teresa calls it) without approaching Him by

the laborious process of reasoning, and in so doing embraces Him with its

affective powers; like a person who, devoid of technical skill, takes in and

is enamoured by, the beauty of a painting. Infused contemplation is the

highest act of the Gifts of the Holy Ghost of Knowledge and Wisdom. It is

often impossible, nor is it always essential, to determine where acquired

contemplation ends and infused contemplation begins. But it should be borne

in mind that both the one and the other are operations and not merely a

passive state or mere fruition. Even the highest form of contemplation, the

Beatific Vision, is a supernatural act of the soul, an operation of unending

duration. A ship moved by a gentle breeze is rightly said to be actually

sailing though the rowers are at rest.

[109] Life, ch. xii. 11.

[110] Life, ch. xvii. 7.

[111] Philippus a SS. Trinitate, Summa Tleologi+ª Mystic+ª, pars iii. tract.

i. disc. iii. art. 2. Life, ch. xv. 11, xxii. 22, 23. Way of Perf. ch. xvi.

4, xli. 2. Concep. ch. v. 3.

[112] S. Matt. xx. 15: 'Aut non licet mihi quod volo facere?'

[113] Way of Perf., ch. xix. 8. Castle, M. iv. ch. ii. 4. The first three

mansions of the Interior Castle correspond with the 'first water,' or the

prayer of Meditation, explained in ch. xi-xiii. of the Life; the fourth

mansion, or the prayer of Quiet, with the 'second water,' Life, ch. xiv. and

xv.; the fifth mansion, or the prayer of Union, with the 'third water,'

Life, ch. xvi. and xvii.; and the sixth mansion, ecstasy, etc., with the

'fourth water,' Life, ch. xviii.-xxi.

[114] Ps. cxviii. 32. Way of Perf. ch. xxviii. 11.

[115] Life, ch. iii. 1.

[116] Life, ch. xii. 2-4..

[117] Found. ch. v. 2. Way of Perf. ch. i. 6, 12. Life, ch. xv, 16, ch.

. 19.

[118] Life, ch. xv. 9, 10.

[119] Second Relation addressed to Fr. Rodrigo Alvarez.

[120] Way of Perf. ch. iii. 8. Life, ch. xxi. S. Rel. ii. 12.

[121] According to Fr. Gracian the Saint here refers to Cant. viii. 1: 'Et

jam me nemo despiciat.'

[122] Way of Perf. ch. xvii. 2.

[123] Way of Perf. ch, xxxi. 9.

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