CHAPTER I.

THIS CHAPTER SHOWS HOW, WHEN GOD BESTOWS GREATER FAVOURS ON THE SOUL, IT

SUFFERS MORE SEVERE AFFLICTIONS. SOME OF THE LATTER ARE DESCRIBED AND

DIRECTIONS HOW TO BEAR THEM GIVEN TO THE DWELLERS IN THIS MANSION. THIS

CHAPTER IS USEFUL FOR THOSE SUFFERING INTERIOR TRIALS.

1. Love kindled by divine favours. 2. Our Lord excites the soul's longings.

3. Courage needed to reach the last mansions. 4. Trials accompanying divine

favours. 5. Outcry raised against souls striving for perfection. 6. St.

Teresa's personal experience of this. 7. Praise distasteful to an

enlightened soul. 8. This changes to indifference. 9. Humility of such

souls. 10. Their zeal for God's glory. 11. Perfect and final indifference to

praise or blame. 12. Love of enemies. 13. Bodily sufferings. 14. St.

Teresa's physical ills. 15. A timorous confessor. 16. Anxiety on account of

past sins. 17. Fears and aridity. 18. Scruples and fears raised by the

devil. 19. Bewilderment of the soul. 20. God alone relieves these troubles.

21. Human weakness. 22. Earthly consolations are of no avail. 23. Prayer

gives no comfort at such a time. 24. Remedies for these interior trials. 25.

Trials caused by the devil. 26. Other afflictions. 27. Preparatory to

entering the seventh mansions.

1. BY the aid of the Holy Ghost I am now about to treat of the sixth

mansions, where the soul, wounded with love for its Spouse, sighs more than

ever for solitude, withdrawing as far as the duties of its state permit from

all that can interrupt it, The sight it has enjoyed of Him is so deeply

imprinted on the spirit that its only desire is to behold Him again. I have

already said that, [209] even by the imagination, nothing is seen in this

prayer that can be called sight. I speak of it as 'sight' because of the

comparison I used.

2. The soul is now determined to take no other Bridegroom than our Lord, but

He disregards its desires for its speedy espousals, wishing that these

longings should become still more vehement and that this good, which far

excels all other benefits, should be purchased at some cost to itself. And

although for so great a gain all that we must endure is but a poor price to

pay, I assure you, daughters, that this pledge of what is in store for us is

needed to inspire us with courage to bear our crosses.

3. O My God, how many troubles both interior and exterior must one suffer

before entering the seventh mansions! Sometimes, while pondering over this I

fear that, were they known beforehand, human infirmity could scarcely bear

the thought nor resolve to encounter them, however great might appear the

gain. If, however, the soul has already reached the seventh mansions, it

fears nothing: boldly undertaking to suffer all things for God, [210] it

gathers strength from its almost uninterrupted union with Him.

4. I think it would be well to tell you of some of the trials certain to

occur in this state. Possibly all souls may not be led in this way, but I

think that those who sometimes enjoy such truly heavenly favours cannot be

altogether free from some sort of earthly troubles. Therefore, although at

first I did not intend to speak on this subject, yet afterwards I thought

that it might greatly comfort a soul in this condition if it knew what

usually happens to those on whom God bestows graces of this kind, for at the

time they really seem to have lost everything.

5. I shall not enumerate these trials in their proper order, but will

describe them as they come to my memory, beginning with the least severe.

This is an outcry raised against such a person by those amongst whom she

lives, and even from others she has nothing to do with but who fancy that at

some time in her life they recollect having seen her. They say she wants to

pass for a saint, that she goes to extremes in piety to deceive the world

and to depreciate people who are better Christians than herself without

making such a parade of it. But notice that she does nothing except

endeavour to carry out the duties of her state more perfectly. Persons she

thought were her friends desert her, making the most bitter remarks of all.

They take it much to heart that her soul is ruined--she is manifestly

deluded--it is all the devil's work--she will share the fate of so-and-so who

was lost through him, and she is leading virtue astray. They cry out that

she is deceiving her confessors, and tell them so, citing examples of others

who came to ruin in the same way and make a thousand scoffing remarks of the

same sort. [211] 6. I know some one who feared she would be unable to find

any priest who would hear her confession, to such a pass did things come;

but as it is a long story, I will not stop to tell it now. The worst of it

is, these troubles do not blow over but last all her life, for one person

warns the other to have nothing to do with people of her kind. You will say

that, on the other hand, some speak in her favour. O my daughters, how few

think well of her in comparison with the many who hate her!

7. Besides this, praise pains such a soul more than blame because it

recognizes clearly that any good it possesses is the gift of God and in no

wise its own, seeing that but a short time ago it was weak in virtue and

involved in grave sins. [212] Therefore commendation causes it intolerable

suffering, at least at first, although later on, for many reasons, the soul

is comparatively indifferent to either.

8. The first is that experience has shown the mind that men are as ready to

speak well as ill of others, so it attaches no more importance to the one

than to the other. Secondly, our Lord having granted it greater light, it

perceives that no good thing in it is its own but is His gift, and becomes

oblivious of self, praising God for His graces as if they were found in a

third person.

9. The third reason is that, realizing the benefit reaped by others from

witnessing graces given it by God, such a one thinks that it is for their

profit He causes them to discover in her virtues that do not exist. 10.

Fourthly, souls seeking God's honour and glory more than their own are cured

of the temptation (which usually besets beginners) of thinking that human

praise will cause them the injury they have seen it do to others. Nor do

these souls care much for men's contempt if only, by their means, any one

should praise God at least once--come what may afterwards.

11. These and other reasons to a certain extent allay the great distress

formerly given by human praise which, however, still causes some discomfort

unless the soul has become utterly regardless of men's tongues. It is

infinitely more grieved at being undeservedly esteemed by the world than by

any calumny; and when at last it becomes almost indifferent to praise, it

cares still less for censure, which even pleases it and sounds like

harmonious music to the ears.

12. This is perfectly true; the soul is rather strengthened than depressed

by its trials, experience having taught it the great advantages derived from

them. It does not think men offend God by persecuting it, but that He

permits them to do so for its greater gain. [213] So strong is this belief

that such a person bears a special affection for these people, holding them

as truer friends and greater benefactors than those who speak well of her.

[214]

13. Our Lord now usually sends severe bodily infirmity. This is a far

heavier cross, especially if acute pain is felt: if this is violent, I think

it is the hardest of earthly trials. I speak of exterior trials; but

corporal pains if of the worst kind enter the interior of our being also,

affecting both spirit and body, so that the soul in its anguish knows not

what to do with itself and would far rather meet death at once by some quick

martyrdom than suffer thus. However, these paroxysms do not last long, for

God never sends us more than we can bear and always gives us patience first.

14. Now to speak of other trials and illnesses of many kinds which generally

occur to people in this state. I knew some one who, from the time when,

forty years ago, [215] our Lord began to bestow on her the favour

described, could not affirm with any truth that she had been a single day

without pain and other kinds of suffering: I am speaking of physical

infirmities besides heavy crosses sent her. [216] True, she had led a

wicked life and therefore held these troubles very light in comparison with

the hell she had deserved. [217] Our Lord leads those who have offended

Him less by some other way, but I should always choose the way of suffering,

if only for the sake of imitating our Lord Jesus Christ; though, in fact, it

profits us in many other manners. Yet, oh! the rest would seem trifling in

comparison could I relate the interior torments met with here, but they are

impossible to describe.

15. Let us first speak of the trial of meeting with so timorous and

inexperienced a confessor that nothing seems safe to him; he dreads and

suspects everything but the commonplace, especially in a soul in which he

deters any imperfection, for he thinks people on whom God bestows such

favours must be angels, which is impossible while we live in our bodies.

[218] He at once ascribes everything to the devil or melancholy. As to the

latter, I am not surprised; there is so much of it in the world and the evil

one works such harm in this way that confessors have the strongest reasons

for anxiety and watchfulness about it.

16. The poor soul, beset by the same fears, seeks its confessor as judge,

and feels a torture and dismay at his condemnation that can only be realized

by those who have experienced it themselves. [219] For one of the severe

trials of these souls, especially if they have lived wicked lives, is their

belief that God permits them to be deceived in punishment for their sins.

While actually receiving these graces they feel secure and cannot but

suppose that these favours proceed from the Spirit of God; but this state

lasts a very short time, while the remembrance of their misdeeds is ever

before them, so that when, as is sure to happen, they discover any faults in

themselves, these torturing thoughts return. [220]

17. The soul is quieted for a time when the confessor reassures it although

it returns later on to its former apprehensions, but when he augments its

fears they become almost unbearable. Especially is this the case when such

spiritual dryness ensues that the mind feels as if it never had thought of

God nor ever will be able to do so. When men speak of Him, they seem to be

talking of some person heard of long ago.

18. All this is nothing without the further pain of thinking we cannot make

our confessors understand the case and are deceiving them. [221] Although

such a person may examine her conscience with the greatest care, and may

know that she reveals even the first movement of her mind to her director,

it does not help her. Her understanding being too obscure to discern the

truth, she believes all that the imagination, which now has the upper hand,

puts before her mind, besides crediting the falsehoods suggested to her by

the devil, whom doubtless our Lord gives leave to tempt her. The evil spirit

even tries to make her think God has rejected her. Many are the trials which

assault this soul, causing an internal anguish so painful and so intolerable

that I can compare it to nothing save that suffered by the lost in hell, for

no comfort can be found in this tempest of trouble. [222]

19. If the soul seeks for consolation from its confessor, all the demons

appear to help him to torment it more. A confessor who dealt with a person

suffering in this manner thought that her state must be very dangerous as so

many things were troubling her; therefore, after she had recovered from her

trials, he bade her tell him whenever they recurred: however, he found this

made matters worse than ever. She lost all control over herself: although

she had learnt to read, yet she could no more understand a book in the

vulgar tongue than if she had not known the alphabet, for her mind was

incapable of acting. [223]

20. In short, there is no other remedy in such a tempest except to wait for

the mercy of God Who, unexpectedly, by some casual word or unforeseen

circumstance, suddenly dispels all these sorrows; then every cloud of

trouble disappears and the mind is left full of light and far happier than

before. [224] It praises our Lord God like one who has come out victorious

from a dangerous battle, for it was He Who won the victory. The soul is

fully conscious that the conquest was not its own as all weapons of

self-defence appeared to be in the enemies' hands. Thus it realizes its

weakness and how little man can help himself if God forsake him.

21. This truth now needs no demonstration, for past experience has taught

the soul its utter incapacity; it realizes the nothingness of human nature

and what miserable creatures we are. Although in a state of grace from which

it has not fallen--for, in spite of these torments, it has not offended God,

nor would it do so for any earthly thing [225] --yet so hidden is this grace,

that the sufferer believes that neither now, nor in the past, has she ever

possessed the faintest spark of love for God. [226] If at any time she has

done good, or if His Majesty ever bestowed any favours on her, they seem to

have been but a dream or a fancy, while her sins stand clearly before her.

22. O Jesus! how sad it is to see a soul thus forsaken, and how little, as I

said, can any earthly comfort avail! Do not imagine, sisters, if you are

ever brought to such a state, that rich and independent people have more

resources than yourselves in these troubles. No, no! to offer such

consolations would be like setting all the joys of the world before people

condemned to death: far from mitigating, it would increase their torture. So

with the souls I spoke of: their comfort must come from above--nothing

earthly can help them. This great God wishes us to acknowledge His

sovereignty and our own misery--an important point for those who are to

advance still farther.

23. What can the poor soul do if such a trial lasts for many days? Prayer

makes no difference as far as comforting the heart, which no consolation can

enter, nor can the mind even grasp the meaning of the words of vocal prayer:

mental prayer is out of the question at such a time, since the faculties are

unequal to it. Solitude harms the soul, yet society or conversation is a

fresh torment. Strive as the sufferer may to hide it, she is so wearied and

out of sorts with all around that she cannot but manifest her condition.

24. How can the soul possibly tell what ails it? Its pains are

indescribable; it is wrung with nameless anguish and spiritual suffering.

The best remedy for these crosses (I do not mean for gaining deliverance

from them, for I know of nothing that will do that, but for enabling one to

bear them) is to perform external works of charity and to trust in the mercy

of God, which never fails those who hope in Him. [227] May He be for ever

blessed! Amen

25. The devils also bring about exterior trials which being more unusual

need not be mentioned. They are far less painful, for whatever the demons

may do, I believe they never succeed in paralysing the faculties or

disturbing the soul in the former manner. In fact, the reason is able to

discern that the evil spirits can do no more harm than God permits; and

while the mind has not lost its powers, all sufferings are comparatively

insignificant.

26. I shall treat of other internal afflictions met with in this mansion

when describing the different kinds of prayer and favours bestowed here by

our Lord. Although some of these latter pains are harder to endure, as

appears by their bodily effects, yet they do not deserve the name of

crosses, nor have we the right to call them so. Indeed, they are great

graces from God as the soul recognizes amidst its pangs, realizing how far

it is from meriting such graces.

27. This severe torture felt by souls just at the entrance of the seventh

mansion is accompanied by many other sufferings, some of which I will

mention: to speak of them all would be impossible, nor could I portray them

because they come from another and far higher source than the rest. If I

have succeeded so ill in writing of trials of a lower kind, much less could

I treat of the others. May God assist me in all things, through the merits

of His Son! Amen.

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[209] Castle, M. v. ch. i. 9. Life, ch. xxviii. 5.

[210] Life, ch. xl. 28. sqq.

[211] The Saint went through all this herself; every detail is taken from

her own experience. See Life, ch. xxv. 20; xxviii. 20-24; xxx. 6; xxiii. 2.

Anton. a Sp. S. l.c. tract, ii. n. 268.

[212] Life, ch. xxviii. 19.

[213] Rel. ii. 4.

[214] Anton. a Sp. S. l.c. ii. n. 272. Way of Perf. ch. xv. i; xvii. 4.

Found. ch. xxvii. 19, 20. Life, ch. xix. 12; xxxi. 13-17, 25.

[215] 'Forty years ago.' The Saint seems to refer to her first experience in

the mystical life, which took place during her illness in the winter of

1537-38. See Life, ch. iv. 9.

[216] Life, ch. iv. 6; v; vi; vii. 18; xi. 23; XXX. 9.

[217] Ibid. ch. iii. 6, 7.

[218] Life, ch. xiii. 21-27. Way of Perf. ch. v. 1, 2.

[219] Ibid, ch. . 15.

[220] Ibid, ch. viii. 21. Rel. ii. 15.

[221] Life, ch. xxviii. 20 sqq.

[222] Anton. a Sp. S. l.c. tr. ii. n. 313. On this subject which is commonly

called the passive purgation of the intellect, it would be advisable to

consult some good author such as Philippus a SS. Trinitate, l.c. part. i.

tr. iii. disc. iii.-v., especially disc. iv. art. 5, 6.

[223] Life, ch. xxv. 21.

[224] Ibid. ch. xxv. 23.

[225] Ibid. ch. xxiv. 3. Way of Perf. ch. xli. 5. Castle, M. vii. ch. iv. 1.

[226] Excl. xvi. 4.

[227] Life, ch. i. 27.

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