Clement of Alexandria, The Stromata, or Miscellanies

The marriage, then, that is consummated according to the word, is sanctified, if the union be under subjection to God, and be conducted “with a true heart, in full assurance of faith, having hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and the body washed with pure water, and holding the confession of hope; for He is faithful that promised.” And the happiness of marriage ought never to be estimated either by wealth or beauty, but by virtue.

“Beauty,” says the tragedy,—

“Helps no wife with her husband;

But virtue has helped many; for every good wife

Who is attached to her husband knows how to practice sobriety.”

Then, as giving admonitions, he says:—

“First, then, this is incumbent on her who is endowed with mind,

That even if her husband be ugly, he must appear good-looking;

For it is for the mind, not the eye, to judge.”

And so forth.

For with perfect propriety Scripture has said that woman is given by God as “an help” to man. It is evident, then, in my opinion, that she will charge herself with remedying, by good sense and persuasion, each of the annoyances that originate with her husband in domestic economy. And if he do not yield, then she will endeavour, as far as possible for human nature, to lead a sinless life; whether it be necessary to die, in accordance with reason, or to live; considering that God is her helper and associate in such a course of conduct, her true defender and Saviour both for the present and for the future; making Him the leader and guide of all her actions, reckoning sobriety and righteousness her work, and making the favour of God her end. Gracefully, therefore, the apostle says in the Epistle to Titus, “that the elder women should be of godly behaviour, should not be slanderers, not enslaved to much wine; that they should counsel the young women to be lovers of their husbands, lovers of their children, discreet, chaste, housekeepers, good, subject to their own husbands; that the word of God be not blasphemed.”1052 Tit. ii. 3–5. But rather, he says, “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: looking diligently, lest there be any fornicator or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel surrendered his birth-right; and lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”1053 Heb. xiii. 14–16. And then, as putting the finishing stroke to the question about marriage, he adds: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”1054 Heb. xiii. 4.And one aim and one end, as far as regards perfection, being demonstrated to belong to the man and the woman, Peter in his Epistle says, “Though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations; that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than that of gold which perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise, and honour, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ; whom, having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see Him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable, and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”1055 1 Pet. i. 6–9. Wherefore also Paul rejoices for Christ’s sake that he was “in labours, more abundantly, in stripes above measure, in deaths oft.”1056 2 Cor. xi. 23.

Φίλανδρον μετὰ σεμνότητος ὑπογράφει γυναῖκα Εὐριπίδης παραινῶν· εὖ λέγειν δ' ὅταν τι λέξῃ, χρὴ δοκεῖν, κἂν μὴ λέγῃ, κἀκπονεῖν ἃν τῷ ξυνόντι πρὸς χάριν μέλλῃ λέγειν. καὶ αὖθίς που τούτοις τὰ ὅμοια· ἡδὺ δέ, ἢν κακὸν πράξῃ τι, συσκυθρωπάζειν πόσει ἄλοχον ἐν κοινῷ τε λύπης ἡδονῆς τ' ἔχειν μέρος. τό τε πρᾶον καὶ φιλόστοργον ὧδέ πως ὑποδεικνύων κἀν ταῖς συμφοραῖς ἐπιφέρει· σοὶ δ' ἔγωγε καὶ νοσοῦντι συννοσοῦσ' ἀνέξομαι καὶ κακῶν τῶν σῶν συνοίσω, καὶ οὐδέν ἐστί μοι πικρόν· μετὰ γὰρ τῶν φίλων εὐτυχεῖν [δυστυχεῖν] τε χρή· τί γὰρ δὴ τὸ φίλον ἄλλο πλὴν τόδε; ἁγιάζεται γοῦν καὶ γάμος κατὰ λόγον τελειούμενος, ἐὰν ἡ συζυγία ὑποπίπτῃ τῷ θεῷ καὶ διοικῆται μετὰ ἀληθινῆς καρδίας ἐν πληροφορίᾳ πίστεως, ἡγνισμένων τὰς καρδίας ἀπὸ συνειδήσεως πονηρᾶς καὶ λελουμένων τὸ σῶμα ὕδατι καθαρῷ καὶ ἐχόντων τὴν ὁμολογίαν τῆς ἐλπίδος· πιστὸς γὰρ ὁ ἐπαγγειλάμενος. χρὴ δὲ τὸν εὐδαίμονα γάμον οὔτε πλούτῳ ποτὲ οὔτε κάλλει κρίνεσθαι, ἀλλ' ἀρετῇ. οὐδεμίαν, φησὶν ἡ τραγῳδία, ὤνησε κάλλος εἰς πόσιν ξυνάορον, ἁρετὴ δὲ ὤνησε πολλάς· πᾶσα γὰρ ἀγαθὴ γυνή, ἥτις ἀνδρὶ συντέτηκε, σωφρονεῖν ἐπίσταται. εἶτα οἷον παραινέσεις διδοῦσά φησι· πρῶτα μέν γε τοῦθ' ὑπάρχει, κἂν ἄμορφος ᾖ πόσις, χρὴ δοκεῖν εὔμορφον εἶναι τῇ γε νοῦν κεκτημένῃ. οὐ γὰρ ὀφθαλμὸς τὸ κρῖνόν ἐστιν, ἀλλὰ νοῦς [ὁρᾷ], καὶ τὰ ἐπὶ τούτοις. πάνυ γὰρ κυρίως ἡ γραφὴ βοηθὸν εἶπεν τὴν γυναῖκα δεδόσθαι τἀνδρὶ παρὰ τοῦ θεοῦ. δῆλον οὖν οἶμαι ὡς ἕκαστον τῶν προσπιπτόντων λυπηρῶν πρὸς τἀνδρὸς κατὰ τὴν οἰκουρίαν λόγῳ θεραπεύειν μετὰ πειθοῦς προαιρήσεται· εἰ δὲ μὴ ὑπακούοι, τότε ἤδη πειράσεται καθ' ὅσον οἷόν τέ ἐστιν ἀνθρωπίνῃ φύσει ἀναμάρτητον διεξάγειν βίον, ἐάν τε ἀποθνῄσκειν δέῃ μετὰ τοῦ λόγου ἐάν τε ζῆν, συλλήπτορα καὶ κοινωνὸν τῆς τοιαύτης πράξεως τὸν θεὸν εἶναι νομίζουσα, τὸν τῷ ὄντι παραστάτην καὶ σωτῆρα εἴς τε τὸ παρὸν εἴς τε τὸ μέλλον, στρατηγόν τε καὶ ἡγεμόνα πάσης πράξεως ἐκεῖνον πεποιημένη, σωφροσύνην μὲν καὶ δικαιοσύνην ἔργον ἡγουμένη, τὸ θεοφιλὲς δὲ ποιουμένη τέλος. χαριέντως γοῦν ἐν τῇ πρὸς Τίτον ἐπιστολῇ ὁ ἀπόστολος δεῖν εἶναί φησι τὰς πρεσβύτιδας ἐν καταστήματι ἱεροπρεπεῖ, μὴ διαβόλους, μὴ οἴνῳ πολλῷ δεδουλωμένας, ἵνα σωφρονίζωσι τὰς νέας φιλάνδρους εἶναι, φιλοτέκνους, σώφρονας, ἁγνάς, οἰκουρούς, ἀγαθάς, ὑποτασσομένας τοῖς ἰδίοις ἀνδράσιν, ἵνα μὴ ὁ λόγος τοῦ θεοῦ βλασφημῆται. μᾶλλον δέ, φησίν, εἰρήνην διώκετε μετὰ πάντων καὶ τὸν ἁγιασμόν, οὗ χωρὶς οὐδεὶς ὄψεται τὸν κύριον, ἐπισκοποῦντες μή τις πόρνος ἢ βέβηλος ὡς Ἠσαῦ, ὃς ἀντὶ βρώσεως μιᾶς ἀπέδοτο τὰ πρωτοτόκια, καὶ μή τις ῥίζα πικρίας ἄνω φύουσα ἐνοχλῇ καὶ δι' αὐτῆς μιανθῶσιν οἱ πολλοί. εἶθ' οἷον κολοφῶνα ἐπιθεὶς τῷ περὶ γάμου ζητήματι ἐπιφέρει· τίμιος ὁ γάμος ἐν πᾶσι καὶ ἡ κοίτη ἀμίαντος· πόρνους δὲ καὶ μοιχοὺς κρινεῖ ὁ θεός. ἑνὸς δὴ σκοποῦ καὶ ἑνὸς δὴ τέλους ἀνδρὶ καὶ γυναικὶ δεδειγμένου, [τί] τὸ τέλειον, ὁ Πέτρος ἐν τῇ ἐπιστολῇ φησι· ὀλίγον ἄρτι εἰ δέον λυπηθέντες ἐν ποικίλοις πειρασμοῖς, ἵνα τὸ δοκίμιον τῆς πίστεως ὑμῶν πολὺ τιμιώτερον χρυσίου τοῦ ἀπολλυμένου καὶ διὰ πυρὸς δεδοκιμασμένον εὑρεθῇ εἰς ἔπαινον καὶ δόξαν ἐν ἀποκαλύψει Ἰησοῦ Χριστοῦ· ὃν οὐκ εἰδότες ἀγαπᾶτε, εἰς ὃν ἄρτι μὴ ὁρῶντες, πιστεύοντες δὲ ἀγαλλιᾶσθε χαρᾷ ἀνεκλαλήτῳ καὶ δεδοξασμένῃ, κομιζόμενοι τὸ τέλος τῆς πίστεως σωτηρίαν ψυχῶν. διὸ καὶ Παῦλος καυχᾶται διὰ Χριστὸν γεγονέναι ἐν κόποις περισσοτέρως, ἐν πληγαῖς ὑπερβαλλόντως, ἐν θανάτοις πολλάκις.