Augustine of Hippo, The Confessions

1. O My God, let me with gratitude remember and confess unto Thee Thy mercies bestowed upon me. Let my bones be steeped in Thy love, and let them say, Who is like unto Thee, O Lord?468 In his Reply to Faustus (vi. 7), he, conformably with this idea, explains the division into clean and unclean beasts under the Levitical law symbolically. “No doubt,” he says, “the animal is pronounced unclean by the law because it does not chew the cud, which is not a fault, but its nature. But the men of whom this animal is a symbol are unclean, not by nature, but from their own fault; because, though they gladly hear the words of wisdom, they never reflect on them afterwards. For to recall, in quiet repose, some useful instruction from the stomach of memory to the mouth of reflection, is a kind of spiritual rumination. The animals above mentioned are a symbol of those people who do not do this. And the prohibition of the flesh of these animals is a warning against this fault. Another passage of Scripture (Prov. xxi. 20) speaks of the precious treasure of wisdom, and describes ruminating as clean, and not ruminating as unclean: ‘A precious treasure resteth in the mouth of a wise man, but a foolish man swallows it up.’ Symbols of this kind, either in words or in things, give useful and pleasant exercise to intelligent minds in the way of inquiry and comparison.” Similar arguments are made use of in his controversy with Fortunatus (Dis. ii. 5), where he says, that as Fortunatus could find no answer, so neither could he when a Manichæan, and that this led him to the true faith. Again, in his De Moribus (sec. 25), where he examines the answers which had been given, he commences: “For this gives rise to the question, which used to throw us into great perplexity, even when we were your zealous disciples, nor could we find any answer,—what the race of darkness would have done to God, supposing He had refused to fight with it at the cost of such calamity to part of Himself. For if God would not have suffered any loss by remaining quiet, we thought it hard that we had been sent to endure so much. Again, if He would have suffered, His nature cannot have been incorruptible, as it behooves the nature of God to be.” We have already, in the note to book iv. sec. 26, referred to some of the matters touched on in this section; but they call for further elucidation. The following passage, quoted by Augustin from Manichæus himself (Con. Ep. Manich. 19), discloses to us (1) their ideas as to the nature and position of the two kingdoms: “In one direction, on the border of this bright and holy region, there was a land of darkness, deep and vast in extent, where abode fiery bodies, destructive races. Here was boundless darkness flowing from the same source in immeasurable abundance, with the productions properly belonging to it. Beyond this were muddy, turbid waters with their inhabitants; and inside of them winds terrible and violent, with their prince and their progenitors. Then, again, a fiery region of destruction, with its chiefs and peoples. And similarly inside of this, a race full of smoke and gloom, where abode the dreadful prince and chief of all, having around him innumerable princes, himself the mind and source of them all. Such are the five natures of the region of corruption.” Augustin also designates them (ibid. sec. 20) “the five dens of the race of darkness.” The nation of darkness desires to possess the kingdom of light, and prepares to make war upon it; and in the controversy with Faustus we have (2) the beginning and issue of the war (Con. Faust. ii. 3; see also De Hæres, 46). Augustin says: “You dress up for our benefit some wonderful First Man, who came down from the race of light, to war with the race of darkness, armed with his waters against the waters of the enemy, and with his fire against their fire, and with his winds against their winds.” And again (ibid. sec. 5): “You say that he mingled with the principles of darkness in his conflict with the race of darkness, that by capturing these principles the world might be made out of the mixture. So that, by your profane fancies, Christ is not only mingled with heaven and all the stars, but conjoined and compounded with the earth and all its productions—a Saviour no more, but needing to be saved by you, by your eating and disgorging Him. This foolish custom of making your disciples bring you food, that your teeth and stomach may be the means of relieving Christ, who is bound up in it, is a consequence of your profane fancies. You declare that Christ is liberated in this way,—not, however, entirely; for you hold that some tiny particles of no value still remain in the excrement, to be mixed up and compounded again and again in various material forms, and to be released and purified at any rate by the fire in which the world will be burned up, if not before. Nay, even then, you say, Christ is not entirely liberated, but some extreme particles of His good and divine nature, which have been so defiled that they cannot be cleansed, are condemned to stay for ever in the mass of darkness.” The result of this commingling of the light with the darkness was, that a certain portion and member of God was turned “from happiness into misery,” and placed in bondage in the world, and was in need of help “whereby it might be delivered and purged.” (See also Con. Fortunat. i. 1.) Reference may be made (3), for information as to the method by which the divine substance was released in the eating of the elect, to the notes on book iii. sec. 18, above; and for the influence of the sun and moon in accomplishing that release, to the note on book v. sec, 12, above. Ps. xxxv. 10. “Thou hast loosed my bonds, I will offer unto Thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving.”469 2 Tim. ii. 15. Ps. cxvi. 16, 17. And how Thou hast loosed them I will declare; and all who worship Thee when they hear these things shall say: “Blessed be the Lord in heaven and earth, great and wonderful is His name.” Thy words had stuck fast into my breast, and I was hedged round about by Thee on every side.470 Col. iii. 10, and Gen. i. 26, 27. And because we are created in the image of God, Augustin argues (Serm. lxxxviii. 6), we have the ability to see and know Him, just as, having eyes to see, we can look upon the sun. And hereafter, too (Ep. xcii. 3), “We shall see Him according to the measure in which we shall be like Him; because now the measure in which we do not see Him is according to the measure of our unlikeness to Him.” Job. i. 10. Of Thy eternal life I was now certain, although I had seen it “through a glass darkly.”471 See iii. sec. 12, note, above. 1 Cor. xiii. 12. Yet I no longer doubted that there was an incorruptible substance, from which was derived all other substance; nor did I now desire to be more certain of Thee, but more stedfast in Thee. As for my temporal life, all things were uncertain, and my heart had to be purged from the old leaven.472 1 Cor. v. 7. The “Way,”473 John xiv. 6. the Saviour Himself, was pleasant unto me, but as yet I disliked to pass through its straightness. And Thou didst put into my mind, and it seemed good in my eyes, to go unto Simplicianus,474 “Simplicianus ‘became a successor of the most blessed Ambrose, Bishop of the Church of Milan’ (Aug. Retract. ii. 1). To him St. Augustin wrote two books, De Diversis Quæstionibus (Op. t. vi. p. 82 sq.), and calls him ‘father’ (ibid.), speaks of his ‘fatherly affections from his most benevolent heart, not recent or sudden, but tried and known’ (Ep. 37), requests his ‘remarks and corrections of any books of his which might chance to fall into his holy hands’ (ibid.) St. Ambrose mentions his ‘having traversed the whole world, for the sake of the faith, and of acquiring divine knowledge, and having given the whole period of this life to holy reading, night and day: that he had an acute mind, whereby he took in intellectual studies, and was in the habit of proving how far the books of philosophy were gone astray from the truth,’ Ep. 65, sec 5, p. 1052, ed. Ben. See also Tillemont, H. E. t. 10, Art. ‘S. Simplicien.’”—E. B. P. who appeared to me a faithful servant of Thine, and Thy grace shone in him. I had also heard that from his very youth he had lived most devoted to Thee. Now he had grown into years, and by reason of so great age, passed in such zealous following of Thy ways, he appeared to me likely to have gained much experience; and so in truth he had. Out of which experience I desired him to tell me (setting before him my griefs) which would be the most fitting way for one afflicted as I was to walk in Thy way.

2. For the Church I saw to be full, and one went this way, and another that. But it was displeasing to me that I led a secular life; yea, now that my passions had ceased to excite me as of old with hopes of honour and wealth, a very grievous burden it was to undergo so great a servitude. For, compared with Thy sweetness, and the beauty of Thy house, which I loved,475 Ps. xxvi. 8. those things delighted me no longer. But still very tenaciously was I held by the love of women; nor did the apostle forbid me to marry, although he exhorted me to something better, especially wishing that all men were as he himself was.476 1 Cor. vii. 7. But I, being weak, made choice of the more agreeable place, and because of this alone was tossed up and down in all beside, faint and languishing with withering cares, because in other matters I was compelled, though unwilling, to agree to a married life, to which I was given up and enthralled. I had heard from the mouth of truth that “there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake;” but, saith He, “he that is able to receive it, let him receive it.”477 Matt. xix. 12. Vain, assuredly, are all men in whom the knowledge of God is not, and who could not, out of the good things which are seen, find out Him who is good.478 Wisd. xiii. 1. But I was no longer in that vanity; I had surmounted it, and by the united testimony of Thy whole creation had found Thee, our Creator,479 See iv. sec, 18, and note, above. and Thy Word, God with Thee, and together with Thee and the Holy Ghost480 “And the Holy Ghost.” These words, though in the text of the Benedictine edition are not, as the editors point out, found in the majority of the best mss. one God, by whom Thou createdst all things. There is yet another kind of impious men, who “when they knew God, they glorified Him not as God, neither were thankful.”481 Rom. i. 21. Into this also had I fallen; but Thy right hand held me up,482 Ps. xviii. 35. and bore me away, and Thou placedst me where I might recover. For Thou hast said unto man, “Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom;”483 Job xxviii. 28. and desire not to seem wise,484 Prov. iii. 7. because, “Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.”485 Rom. i. 22. But I had now found the goodly pearl,486 In his Quæst. ex. Matt. 13, likewise, Augustin compares Christ to the pearl of great price, who is in every way able to satisfy the cravings of man. which, selling all that I had,487 Matt. xiii. 46. I ought to have bought; and I hesitated.

CAPUT PRIMUM. Studio vitae melius instituendae ad Simplicianum ire statuit.

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1. Deus meus, recorder in gratiarum actione tibi, et confitear misericordias tuas super me. Perfundantur ossa mea dilectione tua , et dicant: Domine, quis 0748 similis tibi? (Psal. XXXIV, 10.) Dirupisti vincula mea, sacrificem tibi sacrificium laudis (Psal. CXV, 17). Quomodo dirupisti ea, narrabo; et dicent omnes qui adorant te, cum audient haec: Benedictus Dominus in coelo et in terra; magnum et mirabile nomen ejus. Inhaeserant praecordiis meis verba tua, et undique circumvallabar abs te. De vita tua aeterna certus eram: quamvis 0749 eam in aenigmate et quasi per speculum videram (I Cor. XIII, 12); dubitatio tamen omnis de incorruptibili substantia, quod ab illa esset omnis substantia, ablata mihi erat: nec certior de te, sed stabilior in te esse cupiebam. De mea vero temporali vita nutabant omnia, et numdandum erat cor a fermento veteri; et placebat via ipse Salvator, et ire per ejus angustias adhuc pigebat. Et immisisti in mentem meam, visumque est bonum in conspectu meo pergere ad Simplicianum qui mihi bonus apparebat servus tuus, et lucebat in eo gratia tua. Audieram etiam quod a juventute sua devotissime tibi viveret: jam vero tunc senuerat, et longa aetate in tam bono studio sectandae viae tuae, multa expertus, multa edoctus mihi videbatur; et vere sic erat. Unde mihi ut proferret volebam, conferenti secum aestus meos, quis esset aptus modus sic affecto, ut ego eram, ad ambulandum in via tua.

2. Videbam enim plenam Ecclesiam; et alius sic ibat, alius autem sic. Mihi autem displicebat quod agebam in saeculo, et oneri mihi erat valde, non jam inflammantibus cupiditatibus, ut solebant, spe honoris et pecuniae, ad tolerandam illam servitutem tam gravem. Jam enim me illa non delectabant prae dulcedine tua et decore domus tuae quam dilexi (Psal. XXV, 8); sed adhuc tenaciter colligabar ex femina: nec me prohibebat Apostolus conjugari, quamvis exhortaretur ad melius, maxime volens omnes homines sic esse ut ipse erat (I Cor. VII). Sed ego infirmior eligebam molliorem locum: et propter hoc unum volvebar in caeteris languidus, et tabescens curis marcidis, quod et in aliis rebus quas nolebam pati, congruere cogebar vitae conjugali, cui deditus obstringebar. Audieram ex ore Veritatis, esse spadones qui seipsos absciderunt propter regnum coelorum: sed, Qui potest, inquit, capere, capiat (Matth. XIX, 12). Vani sunt certe omnes homines unibus non inest Dei scientia; nec de iis quae videntur bona, potuerunt invenire eum qui est (Sap. XIII, 1). At ego jam non eram in illa vanitate: transcenderam cam; et contestante universa creatura tua, inveneram te creatorem nostrum, et Verbum tuum apud te Deum, tecumque cum Spiritu sancto unum Deum, per quod creasti omnia. Est et aliud genus impiorum, qui cognoscentes Deum non sicut Deum glorificaverunt, aut gratias egerunt. In hoc quoque incideram; et dextera tua suscepit me (Psal. XVII, 36), et inde ablatum posuisti ubi convalescerem, quia dixisti homini: Ecce pietas est sapientia (Job XXVIII, 28); et, Noli velle videri sapiens (Prov. III, 7), quoniam dicentes se esse sapientes stulti facti sunt (Rom. I, 21, 22). Et inveneram jam bonam margaritam; et venditis omnibus quae haberem, emenda erat, et dubitabam (Matth. XIII, 46).