Scene IV.

Enter Syrus at another part of the stage.

Syrus (to himself). We've just disclos'd The whole of this affair to Micio, Exactly as it happen'd. I ne'er saw The good old gentleman more pleas'd.

Dem. Oh Heav'n, The folly of the man! (Listening.)

Syrus (to himself). He prais'd his son; Me, who concerted the whole scheme, he thank'd.

Dem. I burst with rage. (Listening.)

Syrus (to himself). He told the money down Immediately, and threw us in beside, To make an entertainment, a half-mina: Which I've laid out according to my liking.

Dem. So! if you'd have your business well discharg'd, Commit it to this fellow!

Syrus (overhearing). Who's there? Demea! I did not see you, Sir. How goes it?

Dem. How? I can't sufficiently admire your conduct.

Syrus (negligently). Silly enough, to say the truth, and idle. (To servants within). Here! Hark ye, Dromo! see you gut and scale The other fish immediately: But let That large eel play a little in the water. When I return it shall be bon'd; till then It must not be.

Dem. Are crimes like these -

Syrus (to Demea ). Indeed I like them not, and oft cry shame upon them. - (To servants within.) See that those salt fish are well soak'd, Stephanio.

Dem. Gods! is this done on purpose? Does he think 'Tis laudable to spoil his son? Alas! I think I see the day when Æschinus Shall fly for want, and list himself a soldier.

Syrus. O Demea! that is to be wise: to see, Not that alone which lies before your feet, But ev'n to pry into futurity.

Dem. What! is the Music-Girl at your house?

Syrus. Aye, Madam's within.

Dem. What! and is Æschinus To keep her at home with him?

Syrus. I believe so; Such is their madness.

Dem. Is it possible?

Syrus. A fond and foolish father!

Dem. I'm asham'd To own my brother; I'm griev'd for him.

Syrus. Ah! There is a deal of diff'rence, Demea, - Nor is't because you're present that I say this - There is a mighty difference between you! You are, from top to toe, all over wisdom: He a mere dotard. - Would you e'er permit Your boy to do such things?

Dem. Permit him? I? Or should I not much rather smell him out Six months before he did but dream of it?

Syrus. Pshaw! do you boast your vigilance to me?

Dem. Heav'n keep him ever as he is at present!

Syrus. As fathers form their children, so they prove.

Dem. But, prithee, have you seen the lad to-day? (With an affected carelessness.)

Syrus. Your son, d'ye mean? - I'll drive him out of town. He's hard at work upon your grounds by this time.

Dem. Ay? Are you sure he's gone into the country?

Syrus. Sure? I set out with him myself.

Dem. Good! good! I was afraid he loiter'd here. (Aside.)

Syrus. And much Enrag'd, I promise you.

Dem. On what account?

Syrus. A quarrel with his brother at the Forum, About the Music-Girl.

Dem. Indeed?

Syrus. Aye, faith: He did not mince the matter: he spoke out; For as the cash was telling down, in pops, All unexpected, Master Ctesipho: Cries out - "Oh Æschinus, are these your courses? These your persuits? enormities like these? Oh shame! oh scandal to our family!"

Dem. Oh, oh, I weep for joy.

Syrus. - "You squander not The money only, but your life, your honor."

Dem. Heav'n bless him; he is like his ancestors. (Weeping.)

Syrus. Father's own son, I warrant him.

Dem. Oh, Syrus! He's full of all those precepts, he!

Syrus. No doubt on't: He need not go from home for good instruction.

Dem. I spare no pains; neglect no means; I train him. - In short, I bid him look into the lives Of all, as in a mirror, and thence draw From others an example for himself. - "Do this." -

Syrus. Good!

Dem. "Fly that."

Syrus. Very good!

Dem. "This deed Is highly commendable."

Syrus. That's the thing!

Dem. "That's reprehensible."

Syrus. Most excellent!

Dem. "And then moreover - "

Syrus. Faith, I have not time To give you further audience just at present, I've got an admirable dish of fish; And I must take good care they are not spoil'd. For that were an offense as grievous, Demea, In us, as 'twere in you to leave undone The things you just now mentioned: and I try, According to my weak abilities, To teach my fellow-slaves the self-same way. - "This is too salt. - This is burnt up too much. That is not nice and cleanly. - That's well done. Mind, and do so again." - I spare no pains, And give them the best precepts that I can. In short, I bid them look into the dishes, As in a mirror, Demea, and thence learn The duty of a cook. - This school of ours, I own, is idle: but what can you do? According to the man must be the lesson. - Would you aught else with us?

Dem. Your reformation.

Syrus. Do you go hence into the country?

Dem. Straight.

Syrus. For what should you do here, where nobody, However good your precepts, cares to mind them?

Exit.